Paranormal Overhypery

I've seen this movie three times, and I've seen both endings. (I've heard rumors of a third one, but, I can't find it for the life of me.)

All I have to say is: O-V-E-R-H-Y-P-E-D

This movie was NOT scary by any means, it was SLIGHTLY creepy, very slightly. If you have seen the trailer, you have seen the "most horrifying" part of the movie, yea, the scene where she gets dragged out of bed? That's the climax. I don't know what the fuck the people in the commercial were jumping out of their seats about.


"I just wasted $8 on this movie.."

However, this was not a bad movie by any means. It was certainly not the scariest movie on the planet, not even close. They did only have a reported $11,000 dollar budget, half of which was spent on the camera Mycah has throughout the entire movie. The special effects were really good, if I didn't know it was fake, you might be able to convince me it was real.

My rating?
With the hype (without knowing the budget): 1/10
With the hype (knowing the budget) : 4/10
Without the hype (knowing the budget): 8/10

I just ... (noun)

This is too much fun, I found a random Meebo chat room called "Emo" and figured it was a good target. Deleted the timestamps but this took place between 1:49 AM and 1:52 AM, I had been begging for help for about 10 mintues before this guy finally decided to cave in.

exodusmeathammer: help
lilbitch32794: wtf do u need?!
exodusmeathammer: i just accidentally 34 mangoes
lilbitch32794: what does that mean!?
exodusmeathammer: well you see i was at my friends house and we were when i saw the mangos, and so i said we should and so we did and then it was pretty shocking because i accidentally 34 of them
lilbitch32794: omg ur retarded!
exodusmeathammer: what doesnt make sense? i just accidentally 34 mangos
lilbitch32794: ate?fucked?sucked?threw? accidentally what? dammit!
exodusmeathammer: 34 mangoes
lilbitch32794: mangoes> or man goes?
exodusmeathammer: mangoes the fruit
lilbitch32794: what did u do with them?
exodusmeathammer: accidentally
lilbitch32794: accidentally what?
exodusmeathammer: 34 mangoes!!!
lilbitch32794: wtf?
exodusmeathammer: yeah i know
exodusmeathammer: its an emergency
lilbitch32794: go to the er then
exodusmeathammer: i dont know if they can help me if i 34 mangoes
lilbitch32794: omg go away start walking
exodusmeathammer: well you would know that i cant because i just accidentally 34 mangoes

A Bubbletea Adventure

If you know me or some of my friends, you've probably heard us talking with a horrible Asian accent about some mythical beverage known as "bubble tea.", so, follow me and I shall spin you a tale.

At a jam session for our band almost a year ago, we were watching Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer to take a break, it was nearing the end of the movie (thankfully) and as they passed a billboard I noticed something odd, across the billboard said "BUBBLETEA!". I quickly pointed it out and everyone had a simultaneous "what the fuck?". We brainstormed over this for the next 5 minutes and came to the wrong conclusion that it must be another word for soda, makes sense right?

I get home, and I look up bubble tea, and what this horrible abomination of drink-kind actually is, is a mix of black and green tea, with some flavoring, and hard little "bubbles" of tapioca dropped in at the bottom. It is usually drunken with a massive straw, which I named "The Widowmaker"

Fucking horrible

My curiosity was peaked, and so me and my friend Mikey hopped onto eBay and decided to order some of this. Yeah, let's order a disgusting looking drink over eBay from god knows where, this is going to go wonderfully.

Fast forward a few weeks, I almost forget about the bubbletea until Mikey calls me up and tells me that it has arrived. With deep regret, I ask him to bring it over so I can try my flavor. We ordered 5 packets, Soya Bean Milk, Green Tea, Thai Tea, Thai Coffee Drink (???) and one others no one really gave a shit about, I picked green tea since it sounded the least bad. I was wrong.

Tell me, when you think of "Green Tea", do you think of tea that's actually well.. GREEN? No, probably not, it's usually clear, correct? The makers of bubbletea said fuck that and bound and gagged the laws of drink making, because they just don't give a shit.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the events of that evening in pictures:

Mikey (left) Jasmine (girlfriend, right) not holding still for a picture, they can't wait to see me throw up.


The bubbletea mix, my Widowmaker (tm) and the "bubbles"

Close up of the bubbles, yeah, I know what your thinking, I wish it was weed too.

The bubbles being boiled, you have to boil them for some reason, probably to release a neurotoxin that kills you before the bubbletea does so you don't suffer.

SUCCESS! I.. think.


As you can tell by my expression, it's delicious.

Not only was bubbletea "DELICIOUS", "HIP" AND "EDGY" (cmon bubbletea endorsement), it almost killed me. You see, through the Widowmaker I was inhaling bubbletea at a rapid rate. I forgot they had hard little tapioca bullets in them, and as soon as one went up the straw the the remaining bubbletea in the straw left, it shot to the back of my throat and made me not breathe for 30 seconds.

Was it worth the time? No.
Was it worth the effort? No.
Was it worth the money? No.
Was it worth it to tell everyone you almost were assassinated by bubbletea? Definitely.